In the Spring of 2010, I took a Russian Folklore class my junior year of college. One of our assignments was to write our own Russian folklore story. I decided to go retro 80s’ and take a more Soviet approach to the assignment. Below is my unaltered folktale. It’s terrible, but I was also 21 years old.

One fine looking morning in the U.S.S.R. as the red dawn approached, Lenin was polishing up on his Marx and Engels.  Growing weary of his new communist empire he had created, Lenin decided to go for a walk around the Kremlin.  As he turned a corner on his early morning stroll, a burst of light blinded his beady, little eyes. A metallic vehicle of sorts appeared, slowing down from its 88 M.P.H voyage through time and space. Stroking his pointy, black beard and furrowing his arched eyebrows, Lenin grew curious and perplexed.  As the white, haired, crazy-eyed looking man popped open the door and stepped out, Lenin decided this would be the utmost opportunity for V.I. Lenin’s patented brand of mischief. 

            “I am Doc Brown and I come from the year 1985!” exclaimed the strange man.

            “AH HA! A capitalist spy! And a future spy to boot!” retorted Lenin.

            “No, I am not a spy, but a scientist experimenting with time travel!” Doc Brown replied,  

            “I am not a spy and I certainly am not a capitalist spy at that.”

Looking around, Doc Brown grew nervous. He gazed upon the clock tower of the Kremlin, St. Basil’s Cathedral, and the Red Square beyond the Kremlin walls.

            “Great Scott!” I am in the Motherland!!” Doc Brown shouted.

Lenin realized this opportune moment in which the space time continuum was at his fingertips.

            “Tell me space man,” Lenin began, “What is the Soviet Union like in the year 1985?”

            Doc Brown began to explain, but as he was speaking, Lenin hopped into the metallic machine.  As Doc Brown was shouting and pleading for him to step out, Lenin fiddled with some strange buttons and began to drive away.  He reached 88 M.P.H. and a bright light surrounded him.  Lenin slowed the car, killed the engine and then stepped out of the car. He was not in the 1920s anymore!

He decided to disguise himself with the yellow suit he found in the back seat and placed the strange mask over his face as to become incognito.  Lenin wanted to surprise everyone from the future.

            In his new disguise, Lenin entered the Kremlin. He stealthily snuck towards his former headquarters. As he glanced around the corner, he saw his old crony, Joseph Stalin.  Lenin, furrowing his eyebrows, he jumped out in front of Stalin.  The man of steal nearly had a heart attack as he saw some strange figure in yellow.

            “I come from a distant, far off planet!” he said in a spooky voice, “Bring me to your leader!”

            Cowering in his creamy, white military uniform, Stalin replied, “I am,” he winced and got down on his knees, shaking in terror.  Lenin, disgusted by this man, struck a deal with him, “I will let you live as long as you promise to give me all of your livestock, grassy fields, and mother earth for plowing and let me take all those who are low born: peasants, factory workers and soldiers.”

            Stalin, trying to figure out how he could have a space man imprisoned for treachery, agreed to the bargain. 

            “Sike!” Lenin ran away, leaving a shaken Stalin to breathe a sigh of relief.

            After a while, Lenin grew tired of pretending to be a space man and scaring people. This was not what his trip’s purpose was all about. Instead, he decided to hop into his time machine and travel to the year 1985, where the machine came from originally; however, Lenin accidentally hit a wrong button and ended up in America in 1985. 

            Flabbergasted and disgusted, but weary of time travel, Lenin settled into a seaside home in Los Angeles, starred in an original sitcom based off his time traveling experiences and was sued by Robert Zemeckis for stealing the idea from Back to the Future.  Lenin eventually saw the fall of communism years later and was disappointed in the Soviet Union’s failure.  Growing indifferent to his social experiment and its future outcome, Lenin became a playwright in New York receiving mixed reviews.

            Meanwhile, in the Soviet Union of the 1920s, Doc Brown became an instant iconic leader, thanks to his flamboyant personality, and of course, his love of the common people. He lived to see the advent of World War II upon the Soviet soil.  He challenged the Axis powers to a fist fight and won ending the War on the Soviet front, dying heroically by means of an arrant lance.  

            And that is how Lenin discovered the joys of time travel!